Buns of Steel

It's 6:52am in the morning and I am doing my Saturday Night Fever dance in the showers at the community pool. I am pink all over from swimming hard, dancing hard and laughing hard because I know I am jiggling in places that look pretty silly.

"Hey, Lisa, I think you have a problem..." shouts out one of my friends.

"My problem is you are not dancing with me! Let's do the tango," I quip and go to grab her arm that is covered in soap bubbles.

She smiles and says, "Lisa, you have a hole in your suit."

That pretty much stops everything for me! I look down and see solid black and then start thinking the bad, ugly and horrifying possibilities.

"Where is the hole and I think I am gonna die in a few seconds here..." I ask my friend who can't stop smiling at my facial expression.

"It's on your butt cheeks," she says cheerfully.

"Noooooooooooooo. OHMYGOSH! @#$%." I scream with total and complete embarrassment.

I reach around and feel the gaping hole with my fingers and swivel my head to look at another friend standing there quietly holding her laughter in except for grunts, snorts and burps that still get out.

"Cathy girl! You walk behind me every morning. How could you not see this! It is now your job to train your eyes on my buns as we walk out to the pool and tell me if you see any skin! I want you to fixate on my tush at all times in the morning. Do you know how many guys swim in my lane?" 

Cathy can't wait to answer,

"You had three guys in your lane and they all watched you get out. I know, because I watched them. Do you think they knew about your suit?" 

"What do you think?" I responded but already I was laughing with all of them.

I guess I have buns of steel that wore out a hole in the swim suit but now I have a friend who is going to protect my buns and let me know if anything is amiss. Either I get a full wet suit or I need to assign more friends to my other key body parts.........!!!!!!