It's never good to see an envelope in your mailbox, especially in the early morning too, with your handwriting on it. Whenever I have had to do those SASE type of deals, its always so that you get to throw away more money on something you already mailed off therefore throwing away money in the first place.
I knew who it was from, the Funny Times people in Ohio. I had submitted my story about the bride with the big bazooka's because everyone thought the story was "hilarious", "laugh-out loud", and "extremely funny". I even was smiling as I stuffed the envelope with high hopes, tingling finger tips and soulful exuberance! Ha! Ha! Ha!
It now seems the joke is on me! Those guys and girls in Ohio are a tough crowd to make laugh. Wow! I have been told by my fellow writers that I should frame my first rejection letter. Where do you put a framed rejection letter? Above the toilet seat? In the garage by the dart board in case your aim "slips" and the dart skewers the rejection letter? Do you even put glass over the rejection letter? Does it hang above your computer where you do all your writing so it makes you work harder, sweat longer and swear more colorfully?
I read that Dr. Seuss was rejected 10 million times before they published him. Then there is C.S. Lewis, Faulkner, and Hemingway who had lots and lots of rejections before somebody retrieved the thrown out manuscript from the trash, thought to themselves, "This stuff is so weird it probably is brilliant and I think I will publish it after all."
So, if that is the case, I have many more rejections to look forward to and I had better start clearing five walls in the house to make room for all those framed rejection letters. Whopeeeeeeeeee!
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